we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
