i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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