it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
