on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
