She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
