we're chasing vodka with high fives
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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