I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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