she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
