HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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