Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
