He uses pillows to masturbate.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
