We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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