if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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