I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
