I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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