just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
