It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
