My balls are so social today.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
