Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
