Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would ride that face into the sunset
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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