So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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