My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
