I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
