Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
