I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
