I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
