he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
