I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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