feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
