I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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