Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
