i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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