i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
