so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
