broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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