porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
