I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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