Who did Billy Mays play for?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
