your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
