Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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