Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
