he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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