we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
