you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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