I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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