You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
