He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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