Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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