I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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