You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We left the knife in your bed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
